marriage + divorce

Malta is preparing to have a vote on whether to make divorce legal. I feel pretty uninformed as I didn’t realise it was illegal up until now.

I can’t decide how I feel about this. On the one hand, I understand the people whose marriages haven’t worked out and who now want to draw a line under that relationship and move on. On the other hand, I can understand the people who think divorce could be seen as an easy solution to relationship difficulties and would therefore undermine the integrity of the marriage bond to start with.

I’ve been told a few times that I have conflicting opinions on relationships. I’m pretty shy so I don’t often get into deep and emotional discussions about it, which means that I don’t really have enough of an insight into other people to judge my own views. I’m also self-protective enough to have talked myself out of any kind of serious commitment, which means even after 20-something years I haven’t been in a position to contemplate marriage or divorce first-hand. I believe that the universe gives you what you need rather than what you want, but I also think that “falling in love” is more a matter of pheromones, hormones and emotional engineering than fate. Depending on what kind of mood I’m in, that means either I’m proud of myself for connecting to another human being on such a personal level or I’m sad because there’s no adorable little cupid skipping about looking after my best interests.

I’m not even going to try and decide what Malta should do. This is a very personal decision for people, which will probably be informed by their own experience or that of someone close to them. The strange thing is, for all that I’ve learnt about who you can fall in love and what kind of behaviour is acceptable in what kind of relationship, there’s really not much that explains how long you should expect that relationship to last.

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